shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
