i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
