he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
