I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
