There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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