apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize