the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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