Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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