Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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