Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
