The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
