If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize