you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
