Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
