Small penises have feelings too.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
