uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
