..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
