My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we're making bets on your personal life
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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