Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
