I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
