That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
