can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
