so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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