Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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