Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
