you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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