He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
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the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
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he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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