Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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