Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
