You smell like stripper and shame
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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