well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
