ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i dont even know how to be here
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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