Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize