Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
