Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
