Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
