I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
