Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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