Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
