Already got asked if we're dating
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize