i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
be right there i have to get my cape
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
