i permit you to call me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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