She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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