I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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