Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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