If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
