maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
