I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
