i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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