He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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