I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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