i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
