One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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