If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
