Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
