if you like me you must not know who I am
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i think i have herpe
just one?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
