all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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